6 more days,

till I'm 17.

Ah, my birthday will be in between my SPM exams, but thank God my birthday falls on a Saturday, hence no paper. But, my wish, for every year is to spend it with my loved ones. Family/Friends/Baby.

Wish, will you come true?

It's the one you freaked out,

and walked away.

Have you ever felt, this alone? I feel so worthless now. Nothing I can ever do now is good enough for my family. Neither to my mum, dad, bro nor sister. Sometimes I just can't take it anymore. I just need God. I just need to know that.. I'm worth to someone, and definitely, I'm worthy to God.

I need to find my identity in Christ.

And, I can't wait.. till I get out of here. To a new life. Discover the real me.

Ridiculous.

I just find this ridiculous. It's not an issue that you might be still mad, but it's been almost a year. I suggest you should just stop holding a grudge, and forget about the past. We cant be friends again? Anyway I've done my part. I've apologized long time ago, and times when I try to talk to you, but all you do is ignore me. Well suit yourself. But the fact that you're unwilling to be close to me again, its because you misunderstood, and never knew the real me. I once thought you were true, someone would have accepted me the way I am, someone who would have been my best guy friend. But you drowned our friendship. And there's nothing left. Maybe you do not feel it was such a waste, but I do. Not because I feel the guilt in me, but because I treasure our friendship.. but we no longer have any.

Grr. SPM starts tomorrow. Shall not let this bug me.

I pray that God will bless me abundantly and 10As, to my hands please! In Jesus Name, Amen.

11.11.2011

Lets make a wish.

Pour out Your love,

Well, well, look where we've come to. It's now, November! Can you believe it? Time passes so frigging fast, and one year has passed. Today marks the day my previous relationship started, and today, I'm 3 days away from my 5th month in my current relationship.

In this 12 months, I've learned a lot. Things can change within just months, people come and go. I might just grew a little bit stronger, mentally and physically. But currently, I'm so tired. So tired of having to deal with SPM which is just 12 days away. I am still slacking. What is wrong with me? Dear Lord, help me, please. I need Your favor in me..

You are God,
You are so Glorious,
You are so Powerful,
You are Victorious,
You are The One, Jesus.

Everything was once better,

Thank God for Blogger app on iPhone now! :) this is going to be so much easier to blog, just maybe when I feel like it! Or, if something catches my eye along the way. I might be coming back to blogging for that. Just might.

What if..

your love doesn't lasts?

I've forgotten the beauty of blogging. And now I wonder why I'm back here? Well, the truth is sometimes I do enjoy sitting alone, infront of the computer and just typing my thoughts out. Share my thoughts, but twitter has it's word limits which just restrain me from bombarding my twitter and spamming my followers, so my blog shall do it, since not many, wait correction, no one ever reads it. Joy.

Last week, I was approached by a question on twitter. I personally tweeted "Never ever missed someone so much before." And I received a reply, saying "that's what you say in your past relationship. It's best to never say rubbish like this."

Trust me, when I read that, I was furious and offended, of course. He, definitely wasn't my ex. And, whoever it was, no I'm not mad at him or anything, but what? It felt like I was personally attacked by him.

First of all. Do you even know who my tweet was referring to? Secondly, I'm pretty sure I definitely did not say that about my ex before. Thirdly, who are you to tell me what to tweet?

I know. This is ridiculous. I honestly don't get it. Am I at wrong? I know I used to blog about how much I love my ex in my previous blog posts, and now that I've found someone new, it proves that i'm not loyal. But just to clarify myself, a part of me will always love him. As every way. Although I can never forget him, all the things which I'm only holding to are memories. He left me. What was I supposed to? Am I supposed to wait on him forever? What's the point when he left me? He left me for someone new. And was I supposed to just keep waiting like a fool? I can't deny the fact that I will always love him, but hey, I got to pick myself up. Thank God when I was going through my darkest moments, I had someone with me. You have no idea how much pain he has put me through. And i blame him no more. I've let him go, and got over him. But, i honestly think I have the freedom and rights to pursuit my own happiness. Yes i may love someone else now, but I'll never forget my ex, and a part of me will always love him.

If i was at wrong, then wasn't he at wrong too? He said he loved me, but then he left me. What?