You know, the world doesn't revolve around you, truthfully. And soon, you'll find out that the real world is cruel. But no worries for you, cause by being what you're good at, you won't even have any slight trouble.

Sent from my iPod

You're only going to,

Break my heart.

You know, I'm kinda really tired trying to keep up with you. The truth is I can't anymore. I've been feeling down for almost a week, and I'm pretty sure it has something to do with you, but I'm not sure what's that. Whatever it is, it sure is bringing me down. You know I really really like you boy. But I'm just missing those happier times before, when nothing happened you know? You're great and all, but maybe it's me. I think it's me. Now that I've fallen for you so much harder, I'm starting to be my old self. I'm starting to crave more, and I hate myself for that. I told myself that I'll change for you. I am trying to, you know. If this was how I was back then, I would have probably been worse, like ten times worse. And now, I've been trying to hold up, but now I can't. Not anymore. It's so hard. I knew I can't deal with all this. Maybe now it's not the right timing. I'm pretty sure it isn't.

Sent from my iPod

Wont you come and,

raise your glass?

Life. It's been long since I've actually talked about my life. Well, life has been pretty fair to me. Obviously, with all the ups and downs, there's nothing much I can do about it. Within this whole year, I've learned alot. I've learned that people are very realistic and yet materialistic. I've lost my chances, twice, without knowing what I've done wrong. And, it's just because of people being judgemental. It's okay, I live and I learn. I still hold on to my principle, for now. It's okay if they do not take me and appreciate me for who I am. I'm fine.

However, there are so many people knowing my childhood name, and honestly, I hate people calling me that. As in, I get irritated. If you consider yourself, my family/boyfriend/best friends, I kinda don't mind, but don't simply call me, by that name. I hate it. If you want me to love you more than just a normal friend, call me Shan :) Just Shan. I'll love you. I love it when people call me Shan. It makes me feel like I'm close to that person.

will you cry, knowing that i'm gone?

Forget you,

and forget her too.

Okay, so this PMS thing is really getting into me. I've been having crazy mood swings these days. Whoever who pisses me or upsets me, i'll go crazy. Well, today I haven't been smiling nor laughing alot. And yesterday's dream was just.. weird. Very weird. It kind of upsets me in a way, but leaves me a deep connection.

And now, i'm tearing over something. I'm sure someone will know why. But oh well, I'm feeling so emotional now. And i really don't like not smiling. I think now's the 3rd time i'm crying today. AHHA, i feel so stupid, really. I've so much to say, but i really don't know how to put it into words.

You. Thanks for everything. I don't care what other people tells me, or you, we'll still be close as ever k? Nothing's going to break us apart. I'll annoy you as much as you want. And please, there are lots more days for you. Don't say as if we're never gonna see each other anymore, cause that's aint happening till the next 70 years okay? And i know, you're a very sincere, true and good friend :D someday, you're gonna find someone who deserves you, and somehow you'll lead a happy life, filled with happiness and your little toys accompanying you :DDD

Hey boy,

I really wanna be with you.

SO.. I'm sixteen! :) Like.. zz. finally! But on my birthday, i didn't feel anything special ._. However, I did have a memorable sweet sixteen! Will blog about it, when I have transferred all my pictures :D

Why are you still in delusion, dear? He clearly have left you for someone else. Why are you putting yourself down for something/someone which/whom might not even come back anymore? It hurts me to see you devastated. As much as I really want to shout at you to fucking get over him, I can't. Cause I get how you feel. I so do. All you ever need, is time. As time passes by, you'll heal, and learn from it. It's obviously his loss, but it could be your fault too. I just hope you'll learn from your mistakes, and promise me that you'll change. It worries me to see you like this. I'm praying for you, hoping that you'll get over him/it.

You,

Opened my mind to things I've never seen. 

I'm currently blogging on my iPod. Why? I have no idea HAHA I just woke up and I checked my facebook. Apparently, JIMMY still reads my blog :p HAIIIIII JIMMM!! *waves* (I know you'll be reading this soon.) 

And I was reading back my previous posts. Wow, this whole year I did change alot. as in ALOT. not just physically but mentally too. I guess I've grown a little more matured, though I'm still quite childish. I'm not that naive as I used to be. I found my courage and guts to do what I love to do. Most importantly, I managed to get over the guy who i was talking about last year and found myself a new guy? HAHAHA well hopefully I wouldn't be flooding this blog with any other emo posts about any guys.. hmm, not now I guess. 

Four days of holidays have been great. First 2 days spent it mostly with shaza&mayyin :) went to pyramid on thurs along with Claire. We watched YouAgain! Ah that was just hilarious. :DD and the next day, went over to shaza's crib for BBQ NIGHT!!! I had lots of fun, really! 

Ok, I don't even know why I'm blogging for. I don't even know why I'm even awake HAHAHA so odd of me ._. well maybe I should watch my tvb dramas :D 

Sent from my iPod

Baby, you're a firework

Show 'em what you worth.

Finals are over. Yes, may i repeat, FINALS ARE OVER. Can you believe it? Time passes so heck fast, that i've just successfully gone through Form 4, just like that. Well, since I do not blog anymore about my daily life, so I should totally talk about all the things i've learnt or changed. First of all, I had a haircut around 2 months back? And it made me look like a six years old. Yeap. Bangs, and short hair. It was a decision which I thought I would never make, since I used to have that hairstyle when I was six. But I was persuaded by MichaelPoh, and I totally decided to screw it and just go for it. So i went for it, and I hate my hair now. I can't wait till it's longer, I swear. I need my hair to be long for PROM. I guess I can never make it now. My hair is freaking retarded now, k thanks.

For this whole 11 months, I've met new great friends, and lost a few buddies who used to be close to me. I've fallen in and out of love, and finally i've overcame what I've been afraid of for a year. I've gotten my courage and guts to do what I love to do. I've learnt more about the real world, and tried my best to work for my dreams. I've also gotten closer to my classmates. Yeah, that's pretty much about it.

I read back my previous posts, and it made me think back of Concert Night. Yeah, how much i miss SRIKL concert night, and those practices we had. "Voices" had made me strong. They were the ones who made me believe in myself. We created a bond within us, all thanks to Ms.Charlene. And now, we lost it. It's quite a bummer. But well, nothing much we can do. At least what we had was lovely, and we are able to call it our memories :)

Okay. I'm done, for now.