Thursday, April 2, 2009

Everytime .

I'm so effing tired now . I wanted to go for a naaapp , but i couldn't sleep . currently , there's alot in mind . pfft , so i thought of coming online , and blog :D but now , i feel like sleeeepping ): im so lazy to go sleep as i have to wake up around 8 something . * yawns *

School was pretty alright today . Had domino's pizza for lunch :D :D YUM YUM . After KH , all the guys were complaining about the bookshop lady as , they scolded almost everyone who step inside the bookshop . First , shaza told me bout it , as she went to ask for plastic bags to keep our KH wood.

Shaza : Can i have a plastic bag ?
BL : NOOO ! Do you know all this plastic bag costs rm 10,00 !!!!!

Katie kena-ed also . Cause she went to ask for a plastic bag at 2.05 , but the bookshop close at 2 .


but seriously , its just five minutes later only , AND WE NEED PLASTIC BAG LIKE .. BADLY ! AND they let their temper out on the guys because the guys needed to photostat something badly too . BUT SERIOUSLY ! HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY let their temper out on students ? HELLO ! WE'RE PAYING FOR YOUR SALARY OKAAAY ! PFFFT .

there was this incident , i forgotten who ... went and call one of them " AUNTY " and she was like " WHY YOU CALL ME AUNTY ?! HAH ?! " wtf . you think you so young isit ?! omfg . go take a look at the mirror laaaahh .

during hols , we had cheer . and then the bookshop lady also have to work . So that time we saw them in school ... and we said HI to them . and they were like BITCHING bout us for i-dont-fucking-know-what-reasons , and somemore showing the hand sign ( in a rude way ) ... then we were like .. WHAT? ! then she was like " OH NOTHING NOTHING " dare to bitch , dont dare to say bout it .

PFFTTT ! and i heard that the guys went to go scold the BOOKSHOP AUNTIES ?


okaaay . im done with them . anyways , cik fitriah didnt come today again , so we had a free period :) and we talked bout body hair , yes yes , i'm hairy t_T * dont ask me why i don't use hair removal cream / shave * it was a funny topic :D :D

(you can skip this part if you want too)
sorry was busy singing just now , so i didn't have the mood to blog * prays that it won't rain *

Have you ever felt like you want to tell people the things inside you heart , but just that you can't ?

I'm feeling it right now . I really want to let someone know how i feel towards my friends / school / relationship and of cause family . Yes , i do have people i do really trust and i can talk to like Claire / Swei / MeiTing ( EH YOU ALWAYS NOT ON COMP 1 LOR ): ), but ... I sometimes do feel scare that I'm annoying / bothering them , with my problems whereas Its none of their busineesss . therefore , i just keep it to myself . But , when someone actually irratates me / annoys me to the EXTREME , i'll eventually breakdown , but not cause of the matter that they annoy me , but with the probs / pressure I'm facing . It's really hard for me to maintain , a not easy to breakdown status . I'm someone who can't handle stress , that's why , I really wonder how I am going to face the world next time . Sometimes when I'm actually laughing / high , I'm faking , because I don't wanna let anyone know that I'm sad / emo / stress or whatever . Doing that , really hurts . it's like you're hiding your true-self to the people out there .
AND NOW .. i'm actually very stressful these days . I'm pms-ing , have to practice piano like fuck , since my piano exam tomorrow , and with cheer ,everything ... it's really killing me inside . Of cause , I do have some view on how my friends are treating me these days , and that's the most important thing . I can't live without my good friends . Now , I just feel like , I'm relying on my friends , ALOT ! EVEN CUTTING THE MOUNTING BOARD , I ALSO NEED CHEE SOONG TO HELP ME ): that's why , I'm really trying to be independent , trying to do all my KH wood work , all by myself , and not a single person to help me . * lets hope I can * .
Other than that , I also have confused feelings . Omfg , i hate to talk about this . Oh well , it's the time to release my .. feelings here right ? :D
At first , I thought i didn't need you , but now that you're gone , I just realise that i do need you beside me , cause you're the only one who can entertain me and make me laughs . Sometimes , I wonder what's happening to us . Out of a sudden , the words you've said before , it's all dissapearing . I dont want this to happen , I want the old US , the old US , where we can talk about anything . I admit , I did have a little crush on you . But , now .. that we're not close anymore , I'm starting to miss the times where we would actually talk bout anything . from this to that , from that to something else , and eventually we'll laugh alot . I don't care if you've never liked me before , because that doesn't matter . What matters , is ... I still need you to talk to me ): feeling of not having you , talking to me , really hurts you know that ?

some people should not judge me by the cover . I may not look pretty and therefore you don't wanna be friend with me , It's okay . I'm fine with it . But a good advice , i tink you should try to know me more , and I think i'm quite friendly , And I'm only rude / bitchy to people i really hate . But if you actually randomly and say hi to me , I'll say hi to you , if i know you of course :) but if I don't , i'll get to know you :) I don't choose my friends base on their looks , f.y.i . therefore ... you shouldnt judge me by how i look , not only me , but to everyone else :D



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