everything

hm , i just read someone's blog , and thats why im so down TT . i've noone to talk to :\ . mei ting's still at seremban , rachel i dont know where she go . == .

i just want to thank you for being there for me since last yr and this yr . thanks for teaching me alot of things and being with you i've gain alot of new things & new friends . and i know no matter what i do , i dont think that i can ever replace her cause she's your childhood friend . and . i know that you always say im ur bestest friend and i really do treat you as a bestest friend . and , i know that i can never replace her , your childhood friend . well , i know i cant , and thats why i've tried my best to be close with her , so i mean if we hangout next time and all , noone of us will get so left out right ? but , it just seems like she doesnt treat me as one . well , dont ask me why , i dont know either . i've tried my best , to trust her . i mean i did . and so on . but i cant believe that :\ . seriously TT . i just guess our friendship is just drifting further and further during the hols . i hope our friendship will be better when school's reopening . but i just wana let you know , i'l be always there for you , to lean on , to put my lameness on you . and everything , and lastly thanks for being there for me and laugh at my lame jokes all the time . i guess you know who you are . and thanks for supporting me every single time and console me and help me whenever i've probs with friends , relationship and study :) . and i dont wana lose you as my best friend , cause u're very very special to me . noone have ever supported me through out everything including my family probs until i became close to you :D . and eventho , u have a lil winzy chance to lose another friend , you didnt even think of backstabbing me and leave me . and thats why u're my bestest friend cause noone have ever done that to me :) . well thank you and you know , u're the most special friend to me :) . i'll always be there for you and love you . hah , sound so gay . == . niway , i hope u'll read this . lastly , thanks for everything and hope u'll apologize if i've done aniting wrong within this 2 years .

p.s : im crying when im typing this post :\

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i cant belive you said those words :\ . those words were really hurtful TT . eventho you didnt say it right to me , but you put it in your blog . :\ . thats the reason why i hate blogs . =.='' i dont get it , i just had friendship problem few months ago , and now another one , and same one ): . and usually all comes to me ): . maybe i .... i ... should just ... stay like a loner ? :\ . whatever i've done for my friend , they'll never look at the good thing i've done , but instead the bad thing . i mean i tried so hard . i always tell myself , if she's happy , then its okay . eventho it sacrisfice whatever from me , i just want my friends to be happy . well , best friends . TT . and eventho you wanted this , and u said u didnt wan , but i know deep down u wanted . so i gave it to you . and i know if youre happy , i will be happy . no matter what , i just tried to protect my best friends from anything and give them what they wants . ): . but .. it seems like nobody realised nor cared . i tried my best to show you that i'll be there for you . and tried to console you . eventho how hard i try , nothing shows up :\ . maybe i dont deserve to be your friends . ): . and im sorrry for everything . you know who you guys are . TT .